Thursday- What Brings Me Down

May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope?

The biggest problem for me is the stupid CGM. I am one of a few people who the Dexcom G4 which I use, either the receiver or I use the CGM on my Tandem T:Slim G4, doesn't agree with my meter. More often than not, the CGM will be can 50%+/- off from my meter. That is unacceptable. Even 20% isn't good in my book, I don't give a damn what Dexcom says. It should be 10% +/-, not 20%.

And I don't use any medication that will cause problems with my blood sugar reading. I clean my finger tips. I don't calibrate when there are arrows going up or down. There are no problems with my calibrating the CGM, NONE. When the stupid thing beeps at me, it drives me nuts because I then have to go and check my blood sugar because I can't trust what it says. ALL THE TIME. It'll wake me up telling me I'm 60 when I'm really 110. A perfectly acceptable number. Or it'll wake me up telling me I'm 200 when I'm really 125. Or it'll wake me up telling me I'm 45 and I'm really 200. This is UNACCEPTABLE.

I've called Dexcom and they tell me there's nothing they can do. They've sent me new sensors. It doesn't matter where I wear them. I know if I wear them longer than 2 weeks, the readings are even more off. Both my Endo and husband want me to wear the damn thing because I can't tell if I'm going low while I'm sleeping. This isn't a new thing, it's been this way since my diagnosis in 1965. So I wear it and have to put up with the damn beeping. No I can't have it on vibrate because I can't tell when it vibrates.

I cope by not wearing the CGM for a week at a time. I just decide I don't want to wear it so I don't. I can tell when I'm going low during the day, so I don't have to worry about it. This way, I don't have to test as often and I'm not pulling my hair out due to the beeping.

No, I've had more emotional problems due to the physical, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse I've had to endure as a child. That was so much harder on me than being a juvenile onset diabetic.